I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize