Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
