ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
