Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
