You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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