I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
