check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Randomize
