no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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