Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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