4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
