I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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