he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
