Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
