Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
