I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
