How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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