SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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