it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
