you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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