who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
