so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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