Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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