Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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