Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
