Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I smell stomach acid.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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