Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize