they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize