I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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