Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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