Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Too much gin, very little bucket
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
