I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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