dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
