So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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