Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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