if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
