Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize