We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
