so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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