If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
