I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize