Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
