I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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