U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
