you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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