So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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