There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize