'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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