Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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