I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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