yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
