your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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