I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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