your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
