Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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