I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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