I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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