i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
