so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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