I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize