just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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