haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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