so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
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