Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize