Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
