She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
