So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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