She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
