he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
