Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
