Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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