check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
