elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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