I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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