I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
