I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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