I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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